Can't help to be paranoid.

"Sometimes I just hope I can stop growing up."

Feeling so emotional today,

out of a sudden everything just seem to crush down.

Need to focus more on my studies and keep myself busy.

Life have not been really smooth for me,

I don't know how to express myself out to anyone,

don't know who to vent my mood out.

I know I should learn how to control my own emotion,

cause a girl like me shouldn't fall should't break down.

Only cause I tell myself I must be strong and never weak.

I don't want to rely on anyone,

cause expectation always lead to disappointment.

I don't blame anymore but just don't seems to feel important to anyone.

I don't want to be an attention seeker,

cause it irritate people.

Sweetie,it been sometime since I last seen you,

I understand you been busy but can't help it.

Just scare someone else will replace me,

I been so paranoid so naive,

I think I'm such a turn off and irritating,

You know I been trying to work so hard to get that 100 marks for you.

I know you say is not important,

but is everything to me.

I care about everything you said,

no one will see this blog as I said,

cause I didn't share the link out.

So I just want to vent my unhappiness here.

Everything flash back so suddenly,

I feel bad for making you "smoke" with me and stuff.

I remember everything that night clearly,

maybe you don't but I do,

I love having heart to heart talk with you.

I understand you aren't getting over with your past relationship,

you know when I see you shed tears for her,

my heart aches so much.

Yet I didn't say anything and I understand.

That scene had never left my mind or heart.

I just hope to be the best for you that all.

I'm glad that you're been honest and truthful to me.

I want this to maintain so I'm really my best.

Kid teung mak mak, Dai yin mai ?